Self Care

This has been one of the toughest weeks I have had in my life, which has made keeping work at the forefront of my brain a challenge. I’m actually surprised I am submitting this blog on time, but that very appropriately aligns with my reflection on self care this week.

I am someone that has trouble knowing when it is time to take a step back. I hate feeling like I need help, comfort, time, or anything over and above what is being offered to everyone else. In coming home to Pittsburgh this week, I have found I get this toxic trait from my beautiful, yet very stubborn mother.

After learning of my Nana’s passing Tuesday evening, I laid on the couch crying into my boyfriend’s chest. After a couple of hours, I got up to start making dinner, do laundry, and get my clothes ready for the following day – my usual routine. He must have seen that crazy, stubborn look in my eye (that he has seen only a few times, bless his heart) because he grabbed my hand and said, “You need to slow down. You need to go home.”

I knew he was right and that this was a time I needed to take a step back, recognize what my mind, soul, and body needed. Going to the Fellow Meeting wouldn’t be productive if the inspirational words of our esteemed guests went into my brain and got lost in a sea of memories of my Nana. Going to work wouldn’t be productive if I couldn’t see the screen through tears. There comes a point when taking care of yourself NEEDS to be the priority in your life, and I am disappointed it took an event of this magnitude to prove that to myself.

I was able to spend the last couple of days assisting my mom and sister in cleaning out my Nana’s home. We have shared memories, laughs, tears, and discoveries. It has been such a special experience to really take time away from the busy world we all live in to focus our energy on the person that helped raise me and my sister, and of course my mom. To uncover never-before-seen notes she wrote, her old concert tickets, paintings she had done, are irreplaceable and unforgettable moments that are necessary for our hearts to heal. She was an enormous part of my life and she deserved this time from me.

Granted, here I am today in a Starbucks, working remotely for BBBS and submitting my blog before the service in a few hours. But I am proud of the progress I have made this week in recognizing the need for self care, allowing myself time to mourn with my family, and being completely present and submersed in my memories of her. Now matter how busy our lives get, we need to know when it is time to disconnect from our emails and connect to our rawest and most vulnerable human emotions and connect to people instead. Next week is a new week, and I will feel stronger, and more confident pursuing every challenge I face knowing I have an angel routing me on.

Below is a photo we found in the depths of her closet from her wedding day in the 1940’s that not even her daughter had seen, along with the photo display I put together for her service.

I also wanted to thank you all as fellows for allowing me to be vulnerable (and kind of rant). If every human was as respectful, accepting, and generous as you all, the world would be a much more beautiful place.

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Stories from Camp

This week has been quite long if you ask me. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re coming off a very short holiday week or because I’ve felt stressed – but I made it through. I absolutely love coming to work every day and seeing all the smiling faces at camp and I believe that the children are really what helped me make it through the week without too much chaos. This week, I don’t think there’s any lesson I’ve learned that is more important than the simple fact that sometimes the smallest things are what help you get through a tough day or week. I want to share some of the stories that helped me do exactly that this week. (I will be posting children’s names with initials only for privacy reasons).

M* is an amazing little boy who I’ve become great friends with this summer. He’s fresh out of kindergarten and quite the character. When we first met at camp, he would cry for quite some time because he missed his mom after she dropped him off. It was heartbreaking and I would get frustrated with myself for not knowing the best way to help him. Fast forward to today, M runs to the camp doors and excitedly greets me when we see each other every day. When I walked in Monday, M told me that during his holiday weekend, he biked across the country and back. While I’m not sure that a 5 year old biked across the entire United States and back in 5 days, I loved to hear his story about it.

My friend, M

Kids really say the strangest things and I’m not sure if I’m just super gullible, or these kids are really doing the unbelievable. Another boy, A* told other camp counselors and myself that he personally took down a king cobra. At first this honestly didn’t seem far fetched. It wasn’t until he said that he charmed the snake with a saxophone that I really started to question his story.

Three of my favorite campers, all sisters, returned to camp this week after not being back since last summer’s camp. These little girls are the most hilarious, sassy, friendly sisters I have ever met. The youngest, N, calls me “Ms. Melly” because she can’t yet say Mary correctly. Hearing her say “Ms. Melly Ms. Melly look at this!!” during crafts and games all week has been a reminder of how much I love being at camp.

My favorite story of the week involves two campers; one a 2nd grader and one a teen intern. The teen intern, who I know from last summer when he was in my middle school group, loves to roast me whenever he gets the chance. Since I know him, I know it’s all fun and I often roast him too. These things happen typically in competitive games like dodgeball or basketball. One day during basketball, I lost to a younger camper in basketball (on purpose obviously?). The teen intern said “oooh Ms. Mary you’re bad!” as a joke but G*, the 2nd grader heard it and didn’t know it was a joke. G came up to me and whispered “Ms. Mary don’t listen to him. You’re the most strongest woman in the world.”

These are only a few of the stories of everything kids have said this week that made the stressful week so much better. Stories don’t have to be profound or thought provoking to make an impact on you. Sometimes it really is the smaller, light-hearted things that matter the most.

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Ups and Downs, but a Great Week 6

I have had a fantastic week at Ohio Wildlife Center. I am overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude for the people I work with. This week feels like the episode of The Office where Jim has an awful day, but then Pam falls asleep on his shoulder and it turns the whole thing around.

This week I was bit by a woodchuck which meant a tetanus shot, went on a baby turkey vulture rescue mission, got caught in the rain multiple times, missed the fellowship learning session (sorry guys) and felt like the week would never end.

But throughout it all, I had my coworkers Lindsey and Logan there to laugh and have fun with. There was a fundraiser for Ohio Wildlife Center at the Candle Lab in the Short North Thursday evening and spending time with coworkers and friends outside of work was so much fun and very refreshing. They also had cards and gifts set up on my desk for my birthday when I came into the office today. I feel so lucky to be part of a team where I feel loved and valued. Building relationships with those you work with outside of work is so important to culture, productivity and workplace flow. 

This summer has been flying by, I can’t believe the fellowship is over half way complete! I have been learning so much and enjoying myself as well. I’m learning a lot about how nonprofits function, marketing for fundraising and animal welfare. All of the things I am interested in and hope to make a career of!

Enjoy some super cute pictures I’ve been able to capture 🙂


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Flashback

This week I have been all over the place; between working at the clinic, doing outreach, and cleaning out and organizing KidSMILES storage unit, I am definitely getting an array of experiences!

My internship last summer was with MedWish, which is essentially a huge warehouse full of donated medical supplies that would eventually get sorted to send to countries in need, like Honduras and Lesotho. My main job was sorting supplies into sections, looking for very tiny expiration dates, counting thousands of supplies, and organizing our storage. Who knew this would come in handy! The full week I spent looking for expiration dates on individual bandaids and counting individually packed gauze helped me organize the storage unit yesterday. I never realized how fast I could pick out expiration dates hidden on packages – it is now my hidden talent.

It also made me think about the little things I am learning from this Fellowship that I have not realized that. I anticipate being able to apply the big things from this experience to my future career, but I wonder when I will be in a situation like the storage unit that I can excel because of my time at KidSMILES. It is strange to think about all of the small things a person can pick up from any experience, but I have a feeling this intensive Fellowship will give me tools to get through some difficult situations later on in my career.

I am looking forward to the next four weeks – most of the days are full of outreach visits, which has become one of my favorite parts of my experience. Before starting at KidSMILES, the thought of leading an outreach by myself to even 5 kids would have terrified me. On Tuesday, my volunteers got lost and could not make it to the visit, and I did not even think twice about doing the visit alone! This experience has made me much more comfortable not only with children, but in my ability to go with the flow and accomplish the goals of the outreach program. I am happy to see the personal and professional growth this experience is giving me, and I can’t wait to see what comes next!

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Week Six: The (Alleged) Nastiest Thing They’ve Ever Eaten

I can’t believe the fellowship is more than halfway through; it was been a whirlwind. Though, week five has brought a front of frustrations and minor complications. Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving every minute of my time with the kids and team. As with any job, however, there are some aspects of the day-to-day that are teaching me lessons in patience and challenging me to manage my relationship with others and myself.

For some background, I am still working primarily with the kitchen staff preparing, cooking, and serving breakfast and lunch to the campers and staff. I do wish I had more time to spend in the classrooms and at ‘specials,’ but I have been lucky to go on field trips where lunch is provided by the host site.

Our fearless leader who is serving as the chef for the summer has had some health complications that have prevented her from coming into work each day. Thus, me and Elizabeth (the summer AmeriCorps VISTA) have been heading the work on a weekly basis.  Just as a reminder, neither of us has had training in food preparation or service.

But, of course, the campers and staff don’t necessarily know that, and to be honest, I don’t think they really care. Our assumed role has been to provide them with food and we are trying our darndest to make healthy and yummy meals for them to enjoy because we understand how important food is here.

We have joked that our lunch on Monday is always the most delicious because the kids come for seconds, thirds, and ask to take the leftovers home. The reality is that some families aren’t eating regularly over the weekend when camp isn’t in session and so the lunch on Monday is especially meaningful.

That being said, kids are kids, and they’re picky eaters. Further, they’ve been accustomed to fried chicken and cornbread during the school year at the Dowd center due to the regular chef’s amazing and hearty cooking abilities. Elizabeth and I do not have said skills. This week, we prepared veggie burgers (with tater tots!) as they are quick and also high in protein.

Let’s just say the reaction—from both campers and staff—was less than enthusiastic.

We were greeted with “that’s nasty!” and “where’s the real meat?” per each class that came up for more tots. Honestly, I was frustrated at the sense of entitlement that I perceived from the camp. How can they be particular about the food we’re making? It’s hot, edible, and healthy! (I would also like to add that the whole center’s AC is broken and so the temperature in the kitchen is near 100 degrees with the over on. It’s making me extra cranky).

It was hard for me to wrap my head around their reaction when I knew how hungry they were at home.

Again, another reality check was necessary. The kids who come to this camp probably can’t afford to eat vegan foods that are expensive. Therefore, it’s a new food that is unfamiliar to them which kids are notorious for hating. They don’t mean to hurt my feelings by insulting the time and effort we put into prep; they don’t know how much work goes into a meal. They are, at most, only 13 years old. We can try to teach respect and maturity, but they are children, after all.

After all the huff from lunch was over and we were cleaned up and bagging things up for dismissal, we mused about what to do with the burgers. We usually give food away, but we could only think of one kid who said they liked the meal and would want to share it with their family later. So, we bagged up four burgers and buns, wrote her name on the bag, and headed to the gym.

I was again, for the second time, shocked at the reaction I got from the kids when we brought the food down.

“Are there extra burgers?”

“Is that for me and my brother?”

“Why does [student] get those? Can I have some?”

I had to physically pull them off my legs long enough for me to run upstairs and bag up the remaining burgers for dissemination. I still don’t know if they expressed disgust at lunch via peer pressure, they didn’t even try it, or they actually hated the food, but it didn’t matter.

We made something that makes a difference in at least one person’s life. And even if they hate the food, if they’re hungry, they’ll eat it. These kids teach me new lessons in mindfulness and patience each day.

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Catching the Breeze

Hello readers! 

Week 5 of my fellowship has been a whirlwind. This week we attended a 4H farm in Sunbury, Ohio. On our way to the farm, I discussed how we should respect the farm and the animals that live there. Mid-speech the wheels on the bus went pop and we ended up on the side of the road on the highway. I would say I was shocked, but I am quickly noticing how unpredictable working with kids can be. While the kids started to get apprehensive I said, “Boys and girls guess what?! Now you have stories to tell that others don’t! Who else can say their bus’ tire popped in the middle of the highway?” Before I knew it, another student said, “This has happened to me before”. Perplexed and in a last ditch effort, I pulled out my snack bag and said “okay everyone if you are listening and are seated you get snacks”. As I am passing around the snacks I tell them “okay if you spill the snacks be ready to clean up after yourselves”. As I am saying this I spill some of the snacks. Imagine my surprise when the kids tell me I need to clean up after myself. What can I say, my kids have great wit and they never miss an opportunity. 

At the farm, we walked around, pet the farm animals, made homemade ice cream, enjoyed a scavenger hunt, and swam in the pond. The kids loved the 4H farm. This opportunity for them to be on a farm and witness how everything is operated gave them insight into a different lifestyle and work environment. Kids around their age range also raised their own calves and showcased their grown cows at shows. I am hoping this gave the kids more insight to the world outside of Franklinton. 

Keeping up with the kids is getting easier as I figure each kid out. They all are so unique and skilled in different ways. I am realizing that if you play to their skillset they effectively listen and learn. So while at the pond when one of my kiddos decided to run towards me with his hands out and palms up, whilst holding a frog, excitedly saying miss Ladan miss Ladan; I gave him a smile. I encouraged his competitive side and dared him to put the frog down and try the zip line instead. Successfully avoiding becoming the victim to a small frog. 

The weather has been nice and so while we sip on lemonade and kick our feet up my kiddos and I will be catching the summer breeze and we hope you will too! 

See you soon

Ladan

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Week 5: Small Wins

I am halfway done with my fellowship at Cristo Rey and the Columbus Foundation, and I cannot believe how quickly it has flown by. The first five weeks of my internship have already taught me so much, but I have to believe that these next few weeks will be even more rewarding as I wrap up the long term projects I’m completing. 

Personally, I often have trouble visualizing the end result of long term projects since deadlines seem so far away. In the professional world, ten weeks may not seem like “long term”, but I’m mostly familiar with my experiences in the classroom where I’m only working on short-term assignments and papers. I wanted to push myself this summer to learn how to productively use my time over the ten weeks to truly create meaningful results at Cristo Rey. 

This week everything seemed to fall into place and felt incredibly productive as I’m beginning to focus most of my energy on the oral history project. I finally started to interview participants, which is a big step in finishing this project. I’m interviewing both Cristo Rey employees and external community members, so I’ve had to email some community members who have never met me and are busy with their own impressive careers. I anticipated receiving very few replies–especially until after the holidays. Surprisingly, I started receiving replies within minutes and one of my biggest fears with this project instantly disappeared. 

Small wins–like these email replies to schedule interviews–are helping me realize how I have the capacity to effectively completing long term projects amidst deadlines. I’m feeling a lot of momentum after this week to make big strides with the oral history project as I conduct interviews and edit the audio. I am also looking forward to having the chance to meet with some accomplished community members who helped Cristo Rey establish itself in Columbus. Here’s to another exciting, challenging, and transformational five weeks at Cristo Rey Columbus and the Columbus Foundation!

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Open for Business!

One of the most unique things about SON Ministries’ Summer Lunch Camp is the opportunity for children to create and run their very own restaurant, to which they invite others to be guests at. It is hands down one of the most memorable and fun experiences for both the children and the customers. Seeing restaurants from another perspective this summer, I have learned a few super awesome lessons that I will take with me into the future.

Often, when people think or talk about work, they refer to it as a burden or something we all have to do. However, one of the volunteers at camp made an interesting comment that I haven’t thought about before: “children actually want to learn how to work, it’s our negative way of talking about work in front of children that keep them from wanting to do work.” Children, as made quite obvious through my many interactions at camp, are sponges; they pick up everything that they see and hear. It is the same with work. If you’re a parent or sibling and come home everyday complaining about work or saying “I can’t wait for the weekend,” children are going to believe that work is a bad thing. Although it’s perfectly normal to want the weekend, the tone in which one expresses that can have a massive effect on children.

At camp, the children are excited for the opportunity to plan, cook, and serve delicious food and show adults all the skills they’ve learned. I attribute that excitement to the volunteers who help prepare for restaurant. I constantly hear adults telling the children how important it is to find something that you love or can have fun doing, telling stories of their path into their career, and showing that work can be rewarding.

I’ve found that what we show children, even if not on purpose, matters even more than what I’ve ever thought. Something as simple as saying “I hate school” may change a child’s entire perspective on things that could greatly benefit them. It has been enjoyable to watch children take ownership over something like a restaurant, transferable skills, and make the most incredible food. I encourage everyone to come check a restaurant out for themselves and enjoy an amazing meal prepared and served by the children at camp. Sign up at son-ministries.org

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Paperwork, Paperwork, and more Paperwork…

This week, I spent a lot of my time logging data for different ADAMH-funded summer day camps in Columbus. Each camp that is funded by the ADAMH board must have their campers complete AOD-V baseline and follow-up surveys. All of the camps must turn in all of their surveys to CND so we can enter in all of the answers to one excel sheet. That task has been assigned to me. The purpose of the surveys is to measure how well the camps are doing at educating their campers on AOD-V, as requested by ADAMH.

The surveys consist of 3 short answer questions and 12 YES/NO questions. The short answer questions are meant to help the children identify characteristics about themselves and people they can go to for support. The first two YES/NO questions are meant to gauge where the child comes from. The rest of the YES/NO questions are quiz questions to test their knowledge on drugs, alcohol, and violence.

Copy of ADAMH Drug and Alcohol Knowledge quiz

I have learned a lot just from reading and copying the answers these children put down for these questions. I have learned that about 90% of the population plays videogames, specifically Fortnite and 2k19. I have also learned what a gacha edit is (something little girls are up to these days). Some of the answers these kids write down are also very entertaining. I had a 3rd grader answer that one of the things he likes about himself is “his waves are bussing.” That made me laugh for about 5 minutes.

Something else I draw from these surveys is that a lot of kids do not feel safe in their own neighborhood and they do not feel they have anyone who supports them. This absolutely breaks my heart and it has made me want to keep doing what I am doing. It is such a blessing for me everyday to have children come to me and tell me I am their favorite teacher because I know that they have at least one person they can go to for support.

I came into this fellowship as an Arts Manager with a goal of showing kids that art can be an outlet for them. I am now 2 weeks into camp and I have been contemplating getting an MSW just so I can keep doing this kind of work. In school, I always said I was more interested in indirect practice, working in advocacy or policy. Now I am realizing that I am fulfilled when working to directly solve immediate issues in our community. I have a lot to consider when looking for full-time work in the coming months!

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Scissors & Paint & Glue, Oh My!

I’ve spent a lot of time so far this summer getting opportunities to fulfill my goals and wishes for the summer, especially through this internship. I’ve had so many amazing chances to learn new things about art administration and I’ve gotten time to complete plenty of my own projects, all thanks to this Summer Fellowship and the McConnell Arts Center. For this post, however, I want to focus on my experience in giving back to the community.  

On Mondays, the other intern and I drive to the local junior high with a tub full of art supplies to host MAC Mondays at their summer lunch program. About 30 kids from around the neighborhood come in on a bus and get to sit and eat lunch with their friends. Our job is to bring them an arts-focused activity so that we can foster whatever passion for the arts they may already have, and give them something that they can take home to use or hang up. Some of the activities from this summer have included: screen printing, stamp making, and fabric name pennants. This week, we brought them blank paper fans and watercolors paints so that they could make their own fans. We helped them learn how to handle watercolors and how it works, and it gave them something to cool them off in this intense summer heat. The fans were a huge hit! So many kids wanted to paint them that we ran out of our supplies! 

Screen Printing

MAC interns helping out with screen printing

Seeing how proud they are of their work is rewarding beyond compare. It’s also really funny to see how “creative” the younger kids try to get with the glue and scissors before we have a chance to catch them (we had quite a mess last week…). I believe that arts advocacy only works if you start with the youngest generations, and bringing arts projects to this summer lunch program is a way that I can advocate for the arts hands-on.  

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