Columbus Foundation Fellowship Programs

As a first-generation college student, I knew that I needed to get an education in order to give myself a better chance at life, one better than my parents could ever offer. But I never dreamed of being rich, famous, or even important. I just wanted to be okay. I wanted a stable life after a childhood marked by chaos. Because of this, I spent the beginning of my college years in survival mode. It didn’t matter what I did as long as I got a degree; for me, it was my ticket out of a life of poverty.

When I discovered my passion for sociology and was further along in my college career, my mindset shifted. I didn’t just want this degree to help myself. I also wanted to be successful, so that one day I could be in a position to help others. I have been given the honor an privilege of being accepted into a top 20 sociology graduate program. Something someone with my background is statistically unlikely to ever achieve.

While I am proud of this accomplishment and all that I’ve learned so far, I still cannot shake the feeling that my desire to help others and my position as an academic are at odds with each other. The ivory tower allots one the power and skills necessary to create knowledge. There isn’t a doubt that the academy plays an important role in society.

However, the focus on the creation of knowledge and publishing in journals can suck the humanity out of the work I do. Currently, I don’t feel like either of my hands are being used to directly help those in need. As a Ph.D. student I am part of a system that does not necessarily reward work to help those in need on the ground. In fact, many academics are extremely far removed from the problems they study due their position of privilege.

This upsets me because I did not want to go to graduate school so I could look down from a tower writing about issues that need to be solved. I don’t want my work to only be absorbed by others just like me, inaccessible to the people that can use the knowledge to actually enact change. While I am not happy with my consistent personal conflict between wanting to be a researcher and wanting to help others, the discomfort is important. It is a constant reminder of what is important to me. It is a fire in my belly that I hold precious and refuse to lose.

This week was also a short week at Best Buddies given the Holiday and our Training at the Columbus Foundation this last Wednesday. However, the time I spent at Best Buddies was very productive, as I spent it preparing for our two major events that we having coming up next week: the Annual Leadership Conference and an Ambassador Training on Monday.

This will be my first time at an Ambassador Training and at the Best Buddies Annual Leadership Conference, so I have a mix of emotions regarding how prepared I feel for them. Nonetheless, I am extremely excited for both of them and see them as an opportunity to demonstrate what I have learned from my supervisors and to learn more about engaging with Individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. I have been able to engage with a multitude of Best Buddies staff members and have been gaining a lot of insight to both working with Individuals with an Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities and coordinating a large-scale event such as a weekend-long conference.

Furthermore, I see the Ambassador Training on Monday as a great opportunity to prepare myself for my role at Leadership Conference, since my main responsibility throughout the conference will be to work with Best Buddies Ambassadors. I will get an inside look as to what is expected of me and what skills I need to work on before the weekend.

This entire week has put into perspective the importance of preparing for your tasks-especially when others are depending on you. Taking the time to evaluate your progress and determining what still needs to be accomplished or changed allows for your best results. Self-reflection/awareness is another component of successful preparation and this was something I was able to do fairly frequently this last week.

Earlier this week I encountered a meme on my Facebook feed. It was a copy of a tweet which stated, “IDK who needs to hear this, but poverty-wage workers cannot budget their way to economic stability. Offering financial literacy workshops when what they need is a living wage is insulting and immoral.” After reading this statement, I felt extremely conflicted. As a sociologist in training, the core of the quote is true: people need a living wage – a systematic solution – to attain stability. However, based on what I’ve learned during my time with Siemer, the statement is wholly inaccurate. You see, the idea that financial literacy is used to help poor people who mismanage their money is not true.

I have experienced over 20 calls with direct service providers that explained to me why they include financial literacy in their programs for families at-risk for homelessness. To be clear, these caseworkers and coaches all share the assumption that families seeking assistance are the experts on their own lives and finances. Moreover, they emphasize the fact that these families are not frivolous spenders; basic necessities make up what might be consider as “spending beyond their means.” Given this, why do they still rely on financial coaching as a form of support? Below are a few of the main reasons:

1. In order for a caseworker or coach to have a true picture of a family’s expenses and crises, they need to know their budget.
2. This approach is used to help families navigate and enroll in public benefits. Some families are not aware of all the benefits they can apply for; others are daunted by the application process itself.
3. This approach is goal oriented and as such, can place families on a pathway toward home ownership.
4. Regardless of their poverty-level income, families are given tools to address future crises or unexpected expenses that come their way.

Now, none of the above reasons serve as a solution to the root cause of a family’s low-income or lack of economic mobility. But, after stepping back from my sociological, macro-lens, I can see that it is one of the best approaches social-profit warriors have in their toolbox. Permanent solutions that get at the root of the problem may be seen as the correct answer to these problems. But the thing is, macro solutions do nothing for the people in crisis today. What the meme did not capture is the necessity for supporting those in need in the present. In no way do I consider that work “insulting” or “immoral.” So, when dealing with these issues, one cannot favor the macro over the micro, but must look at them side by side before casting judgement.

This has been one of the toughest weeks I have had in my life, which has made keeping work at the forefront of my brain a challenge. I’m actually surprised I am submitting this blog on time, but that very appropriately aligns with my reflection on self care this week.

I am someone that has trouble knowing when it is time to take a step back. I hate feeling like I need help, comfort, time, or anything over and above what is being offered to everyone else. In coming home to Pittsburgh this week, I have found I get this toxic trait from my beautiful, yet very stubborn mother.

After learning of my Nana’s passing Tuesday evening, I laid on the couch crying into my boyfriend’s chest. After a couple of hours, I got up to start making dinner, do laundry, and get my clothes ready for the following day – my usual routine. He must have seen that crazy, stubborn look in my eye (that he has seen only a few times, bless his heart) because he grabbed my hand and said, “You need to slow down. You need to go home.”

I knew he was right and that this was a time I needed to take a step back, recognize what my mind, soul, and body needed. Going to the Fellow Meeting wouldn’t be productive if the inspirational words of our esteemed guests went into my brain and got lost in a sea of memories of my Nana. Going to work wouldn’t be productive if I couldn’t see the screen through tears. There comes a point when taking care of yourself NEEDS to be the priority in your life, and I am disappointed it took an event of this magnitude to prove that to myself.

I was able to spend the last couple of days assisting my mom and sister in cleaning out my Nana’s home. We have shared memories, laughs, tears, and discoveries. It has been such a special experience to really take time away from the busy world we all live in to focus our energy on the person that helped raise me and my sister, and of course my mom. To uncover never-before-seen notes she wrote, her old concert tickets, paintings she had done, are irreplaceable and unforgettable moments that are necessary for our hearts to heal. She was an enormous part of my life and she deserved this time from me.

Granted, here I am today in a Starbucks, working remotely for BBBS and submitting my blog before the service in a few hours. But I am proud of the progress I have made this week in recognizing the need for self care, allowing myself time to mourn with my family, and being completely present and submersed in my memories of her. Now matter how busy our lives get, we need to know when it is time to disconnect from our emails and connect to our rawest and most vulnerable human emotions and connect to people instead. Next week is a new week, and I will feel stronger, and more confident pursuing every challenge I face knowing I have an angel routing me on.

Below is a photo we found in the depths of her closet from her wedding day in the 1940’s that not even her daughter had seen, along with the photo display I put together for her service.

I also wanted to thank you all as fellows for allowing me to be vulnerable (and kind of rant). If every human was as respectful, accepting, and generous as you all, the world would be a much more beautiful place.

This week has been quite long if you ask me. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re coming off a very short holiday week or because I’ve felt stressed – but I made it through. I absolutely love coming to work every day and seeing all the smiling faces at camp and I believe that the children are really what helped me make it through the week without too much chaos. This week, I don’t think there’s any lesson I’ve learned that is more important than the simple fact that sometimes the smallest things are what help you get through a tough day or week. I want to share some of the stories that helped me do exactly that this week. (I will be posting children’s names with initials only for privacy reasons).

M* is an amazing little boy who I’ve become great friends with this summer. He’s fresh out of kindergarten and quite the character. When we first met at camp, he would cry for quite some time because he missed his mom after she dropped him off. It was heartbreaking and I would get frustrated with myself for not knowing the best way to help him. Fast forward to today, M runs to the camp doors and excitedly greets me when we see each other every day. When I walked in Monday, M told me that during his holiday weekend, he biked across the country and back. While I’m not sure that a 5 year old biked across the entire United States and back in 5 days, I loved to hear his story about it.

Kids really say the strangest things and I’m not sure if I’m just super gullible, or these kids are really doing the unbelievable. Another boy, A* told other camp counselors and myself that he personally took down a king cobra. At first this honestly didn’t seem far fetched. It wasn’t until he said that he charmed the snake with a saxophone that I really started to question his story.

Three of my favorite campers, all sisters, returned to camp this week after not being back since last summer’s camp. These little girls are the most hilarious, sassy, friendly sisters I have ever met. The youngest, N, calls me “Ms. Melly” because she can’t yet say Mary correctly. Hearing her say “Ms. Melly Ms. Melly look at this!!” during crafts and games all week has been a reminder of how much I love being at camp.

My favorite story of the week involves two campers; one a 2nd grader and one a teen intern. The teen intern, who I know from last summer when he was in my middle school group, loves to roast me whenever he gets the chance. Since I know him, I know it’s all fun and I often roast him too. These things happen typically in competitive games like dodgeball or basketball. One day during basketball, I lost to a younger camper in basketball (on purpose obviously?). The teen intern said “oooh Ms. Mary you’re bad!” as a joke but G*, the 2nd grader heard it and didn’t know it was a joke. G came up to me and whispered “Ms. Mary don’t listen to him. You’re the most strongest woman in the world.”

These are only a few of the stories of everything kids have said this week that made the stressful week so much better. Stories don’t have to be profound or thought provoking to make an impact on you. Sometimes it really is the smaller, light-hearted things that matter the most.

I have had a fantastic week at Ohio Wildlife Center. I am overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude for the people I work with. This week feels like the episode of The Office where Jim has an awful day, but then Pam falls asleep on his shoulder and it turns the whole thing around.

This week I was bit by a woodchuck which meant a tetanus shot, went on a baby turkey vulture rescue mission, got caught in the rain multiple times, missed the fellowship learning session (sorry guys) and felt like the week would never end.

But throughout it all, I had my coworkers Lindsey and Logan there to laugh and have fun with. There was a fundraiser for Ohio Wildlife Center at the Candle Lab in the Short North Thursday evening and spending time with coworkers and friends outside of work was so much fun and very refreshing. They also had cards and gifts set up on my desk for my birthday when I came into the office today. I feel so lucky to be part of a team where I feel loved and valued. Building relationships with those you work with outside of work is so important to culture, productivity and workplace flow. 

This summer has been flying by, I can’t believe the fellowship is over half way complete! I have been learning so much and enjoying myself as well. I’m learning a lot about how nonprofits function, marketing for fundraising and animal welfare. All of the things I am interested in and hope to make a career of!

Enjoy some super cute pictures I’ve been able to capture 🙂

This week I have been all over the place; between working at the clinic, doing outreach, and cleaning out and organizing KidSMILES storage unit, I am definitely getting an array of experiences!

My internship last summer was with MedWish, which is essentially a huge warehouse full of donated medical supplies that would eventually get sorted to send to countries in need, like Honduras and Lesotho. My main job was sorting supplies into sections, looking for very tiny expiration dates, counting thousands of supplies, and organizing our storage. Who knew this would come in handy! The full week I spent looking for expiration dates on individual bandaids and counting individually packed gauze helped me organize the storage unit yesterday. I never realized how fast I could pick out expiration dates hidden on packages – it is now my hidden talent.

It also made me think about the little things I am learning from this Fellowship that I have not realized that. I anticipate being able to apply the big things from this experience to my future career, but I wonder when I will be in a situation like the storage unit that I can excel because of my time at KidSMILES. It is strange to think about all of the small things a person can pick up from any experience, but I have a feeling this intensive Fellowship will give me tools to get through some difficult situations later on in my career.

I am looking forward to the next four weeks – most of the days are full of outreach visits, which has become one of my favorite parts of my experience. Before starting at KidSMILES, the thought of leading an outreach by myself to even 5 kids would have terrified me. On Tuesday, my volunteers got lost and could not make it to the visit, and I did not even think twice about doing the visit alone! This experience has made me much more comfortable not only with children, but in my ability to go with the flow and accomplish the goals of the outreach program. I am happy to see the personal and professional growth this experience is giving me, and I can’t wait to see what comes next!

I can’t believe the fellowship is more than halfway through; it was been a whirlwind. Though, week five has brought a front of frustrations and minor complications. Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving every minute of my time with the kids and team. As with any job, however, there are some aspects of the day-to-day that are teaching me lessons in patience and challenging me to manage my relationship with others and myself.

For some background, I am still working primarily with the kitchen staff preparing, cooking, and serving breakfast and lunch to the campers and staff. I do wish I had more time to spend in the classrooms and at ‘specials,’ but I have been lucky to go on field trips where lunch is provided by the host site.

Our fearless leader who is serving as the chef for the summer has had some health complications that have prevented her from coming into work each day. Thus, me and Elizabeth (the summer AmeriCorps VISTA) have been heading the work on a weekly basis.  Just as a reminder, neither of us has had training in food preparation or service.

But, of course, the campers and staff don’t necessarily know that, and to be honest, I don’t think they really care. Our assumed role has been to provide them with food and we are trying our darndest to make healthy and yummy meals for them to enjoy because we understand how important food is here.

We have joked that our lunch on Monday is always the most delicious because the kids come for seconds, thirds, and ask to take the leftovers home. The reality is that some families aren’t eating regularly over the weekend when camp isn’t in session and so the lunch on Monday is especially meaningful.

That being said, kids are kids, and they’re picky eaters. Further, they’ve been accustomed to fried chicken and cornbread during the school year at the Dowd center due to the regular chef’s amazing and hearty cooking abilities. Elizabeth and I do not have said skills. This week, we prepared veggie burgers (with tater tots!) as they are quick and also high in protein.

Let’s just say the reaction—from both campers and staff—was less than enthusiastic.

We were greeted with “that’s nasty!” and “where’s the real meat?” per each class that came up for more tots. Honestly, I was frustrated at the sense of entitlement that I perceived from the camp. How can they be particular about the food we’re making? It’s hot, edible, and healthy! (I would also like to add that the whole center’s AC is broken and so the temperature in the kitchen is near 100 degrees with the over on. It’s making me extra cranky).

It was hard for me to wrap my head around their reaction when I knew how hungry they were at home.

Again, another reality check was necessary. The kids who come to this camp probably can’t afford to eat vegan foods that are expensive. Therefore, it’s a new food that is unfamiliar to them which kids are notorious for hating. They don’t mean to hurt my feelings by insulting the time and effort we put into prep; they don’t know how much work goes into a meal. They are, at most, only 13 years old. We can try to teach respect and maturity, but they are children, after all.

After all the huff from lunch was over and we were cleaned up and bagging things up for dismissal, we mused about what to do with the burgers. We usually give food away, but we could only think of one kid who said they liked the meal and would want to share it with their family later. So, we bagged up four burgers and buns, wrote her name on the bag, and headed to the gym.

I was again, for the second time, shocked at the reaction I got from the kids when we brought the food down.

“Are there extra burgers?”

“Is that for me and my brother?”

“Why does [student] get those? Can I have some?”

I had to physically pull them off my legs long enough for me to run upstairs and bag up the remaining burgers for dissemination. I still don’t know if they expressed disgust at lunch via peer pressure, they didn’t even try it, or they actually hated the food, but it didn’t matter.

We made something that makes a difference in at least one person’s life. And even if they hate the food, if they’re hungry, they’ll eat it. These kids teach me new lessons in mindfulness and patience each day.

Hello readers! 

Week 5 of my fellowship has been a whirlwind. This week we attended a 4H farm in Sunbury, Ohio. On our way to the farm, I discussed how we should respect the farm and the animals that live there. Mid-speech the wheels on the bus went pop and we ended up on the side of the road on the highway. I would say I was shocked, but I am quickly noticing how unpredictable working with kids can be. While the kids started to get apprehensive I said, “Boys and girls guess what?! Now you have stories to tell that others don’t! Who else can say their bus’ tire popped in the middle of the highway?” Before I knew it, another student said, “This has happened to me before”. Perplexed and in a last ditch effort, I pulled out my snack bag and said “okay everyone if you are listening and are seated you get snacks”. As I am passing around the snacks I tell them “okay if you spill the snacks be ready to clean up after yourselves”. As I am saying this I spill some of the snacks. Imagine my surprise when the kids tell me I need to clean up after myself. What can I say, my kids have great wit and they never miss an opportunity. 

At the farm, we walked around, pet the farm animals, made homemade ice cream, enjoyed a scavenger hunt, and swam in the pond. The kids loved the 4H farm. This opportunity for them to be on a farm and witness how everything is operated gave them insight into a different lifestyle and work environment. Kids around their age range also raised their own calves and showcased their grown cows at shows. I am hoping this gave the kids more insight to the world outside of Franklinton. 

Keeping up with the kids is getting easier as I figure each kid out. They all are so unique and skilled in different ways. I am realizing that if you play to their skillset they effectively listen and learn. So while at the pond when one of my kiddos decided to run towards me with his hands out and palms up, whilst holding a frog, excitedly saying miss Ladan miss Ladan; I gave him a smile. I encouraged his competitive side and dared him to put the frog down and try the zip line instead. Successfully avoiding becoming the victim to a small frog. 

The weather has been nice and so while we sip on lemonade and kick our feet up my kiddos and I will be catching the summer breeze and we hope you will too! 

See you soon

Ladan

I am halfway done with my fellowship at Cristo Rey and the Columbus Foundation, and I cannot believe how quickly it has flown by. The first five weeks of my internship have already taught me so much, but I have to believe that these next few weeks will be even more rewarding as I wrap up the long term projects I’m completing. 

Personally, I often have trouble visualizing the end result of long term projects since deadlines seem so far away. In the professional world, ten weeks may not seem like “long term”, but I’m mostly familiar with my experiences in the classroom where I’m only working on short-term assignments and papers. I wanted to push myself this summer to learn how to productively use my time over the ten weeks to truly create meaningful results at Cristo Rey. 

This week everything seemed to fall into place and felt incredibly productive as I’m beginning to focus most of my energy on the oral history project. I finally started to interview participants, which is a big step in finishing this project. I’m interviewing both Cristo Rey employees and external community members, so I’ve had to email some community members who have never met me and are busy with their own impressive careers. I anticipated receiving very few replies–especially until after the holidays. Surprisingly, I started receiving replies within minutes and one of my biggest fears with this project instantly disappeared. 

Small wins–like these email replies to schedule interviews–are helping me realize how I have the capacity to effectively completing long term projects amidst deadlines. I’m feeling a lot of momentum after this week to make big strides with the oral history project as I conduct interviews and edit the audio. I am also looking forward to having the chance to meet with some accomplished community members who helped Cristo Rey establish itself in Columbus. Here’s to another exciting, challenging, and transformational five weeks at Cristo Rey Columbus and the Columbus Foundation!